I have been thinking about what kind of contribution I can make to blog readers. I consider the ones I know personally, those I have come to know through the blog which is our whole continuing contact; as well as, the random ones who skim the current page thanks to a search engine and move on.
Ah, virtual reality--a nut within a shell.
I live real life like that, too. People I know and with whom I purposely maintain a relationship; people with whom I have a limited but continuing relationship, professional colleagues, for example; and random folks, with whom the contact is momentary. Is this a part of the randomness of life or a pattern which reflects the order of things? I once used falling leaves in autumn as a metaphor for random events that were part of a larger order. I saw the leaves as completely random, yet a major component of divine order inside an ecological system. The brother listening to me asked if the intricacies of God’s knowledge and care did not mathematically compute the trajectory of each individual leaf. I answered that I had no answer to his question; his conjecture was possibly true, as was mine.
So we pass through life: wondering, questioning, certain about only a small piece of what we think; perceiving events around us differently from the guy next to us; opportunities gained and lost. I am ok with that…except for one thing. I have this need to matter.
Perhaps it is part of that huge hole within me I have heard spoken of by others. You know the one the sermons say that only God can fill. Henri Nouwen says, “There is a deep hole in your being, like an abyss. You will never succeed in filling that hole, because your needs are inexhaustible.”
I am kind of tired of the whole hole idea. My friend and I above discussing floating leaves were wrestling with the order of things, us and God being the major components of what we attempt to sort here on earth. I have moved something off my random list. I am not searching for my hole filled anymore. I am satisfied by Jesus, Lord of All, Son of theFather.
I hope you are. If you aren't for some reason, I think you can be.
Hey! That’s what I have to contribute: encouragement to others to find rest for the soul in the Great Filler of Abysses. That fills my need to matter. See?...no more hole. That’s the whole idea.