Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Random Thought #7

Large quantities of time, chunks of five to ten hours, are a huge benefit for a variety of reasons:
  • those piled up small projects can be tackled
  • the stuff you know will bless the wife can be done
  • any backlog of one's regular job -- sifted, prioritized, accomplished and checked off
  • long moments of reflection experienced
  • reading, both for relaxation and mental stimulation, practiced
  • creative projects -- planned, started, pushed along, or finished
  • computer games can be played-- almost without guilt
The compelling thing that happens for me in such a boon, is self-awareness. With the pressure off to perform required tasks by a particular deadline, my real self begins to emerge. My decision-making, its patterns and directions, are no longer a mental sub-program that I live with but largely do not notice. In the slow down of life, decision-making over time use is right up front in my consciousness.

One thing I noticed about myself these past two snow days with the demands of daily life ratcheted way down, there is not much I want to do just because it is something I want. Most of the items I tackled were for other people. Many of these projects had some selfish aspect to them, though I chose them for others. The selfish aspect was the positive return doing projects for others would bring me.

This is not a bad circumstance to be avoided. Practically, others being aware of how you spend your time and making the choice to do something someone else wants done is noticeable. (The converse, not choosing to do something someone else wants done when you have the time is very noticeable, as well-- particularly by one's spouse!) People tend to know I have done something if for no other reason I cannot make myself invisible. Actions in the real world are seen. Giving in secret, an act of kindness or support done without others able to view and evaluate, is the exception.

That last point was a bit of a tangent. I guess I'm just rambling here.

I enjoyed the free time, but it actually makes me a little aimless. I realized that I tend to write when I want to mount my bully pulpit. My purpose in writing is a motivation to make my opinions known. Not a bad thing necessarily. The sharing of thoughts and opinions is part of life. However, I confronted me these past two days over why do I keep blogging. When I don't have a an opinion needing to get out, I am little motivated to write.

4 comments:

postmodern redneck said...

You never know what will result of some of these things. After all, if it wasn't for Steve's blog, you and I would likely never have met up anywhere. So blog when you can (or when you can't stay shut up any longer) and give it to the Lord to use or not as He will. As far as your concern over your motivations, Paul had the same over the motives of some for preaching Christ, but rejoiced that Christ was preached anyway!

craig v. said...

I'm thankful that you blog. Even if your motives are not as pure as you'd like them to be, it's a gift to us.

I hit a similar problem with my own blog. I started out with a lot of things I wanted to write but realized not too many people care about those things. I then made the fatal mistake of trying to write for my audience. The problem here was that even though my known audience was very small it still consisted of a diverse group. I soon found myself with nothing to write. I'm not disappointed, however, because I enjoy piping in here.

ded said...

postmodern redneck,

You are right. I can't foresee all that God might do with my few words or the contacts that result. I have certainly enjoyed mine with you!

craig v. I am glad you read and comment here, as well!

I didn't intend to fish for encouragement to continue, but thank you both for letting me know you are glad I have the blog.

I think I was feeling guilty for not writing more consistently lately, when I realized some (all?) of that lack was nothing more complicated than I just didn't want to write.

I have never wanted the blog to simply be a public, personal journal. Yet, continually finding "meaningful" content has been a show stopper. craig v., I know what you mean about the diverse audience thing. That crosses my mind often. I do look for common themes to address. sigh.

C'est la vie!

careyrowland said...

1. Maybe God made snow so that our routines and agendas could periodically be frozen in time.
2. Don't beat yourself up about not having profound thoughts that constantly overflow from your overworked mind. Blogging is creation, not responsibility. It's not a 40-hour job.
3. I like this that postmodern redneck wrote: "Paul had the same (concern) over the motives of some for preaching Christ, but rejoiced that Christ was preached anyway!"
4. I like this that Craig wrote: "I started out with a lot of things I wanted to write but realized not too many people care about those things." This thought is the beginning of true communication, the end of a sounding gong.
5. For cryin out loud, isn't there enough going on in the world today that we could unearth some opinions about what is taking place in these tumultuous times, instead of being occupied with our own thoughts.
6. I think we are all still egocentric adolescents; I know I am. Sometimes I have to slap myself out of it.
7. ded, your blog helps. The Spirit takes me into the Wildwood instead of into the wilderness of my own mind. Thanks for the tipping me in the right direction.
C